promises from God + ENORMOUS mistakes from Helen + consequences from God + Grace from God =

if anyone has the answer to this equation, let me know. i got in an arguement about grace and how even God showed moses grace, but moses was never allowed to see the promised land, and so on and so forth.

there are so many awesome things that God has promised me, but with those promises offered warnings, or advice, or whatever you want to call them, about refusing temptation, and not giving in to sin and myself. i give into myself every day..

another day, there are holes in my face and i am getting crabby about it.

God, answers? please? maybe half of one?

answers or not He (YOU) are always faithful, and that makes me cry--mostly in a good way.

two midterms to study for, one phone call waiting for, two giant holes in my jaw, and one half-swollen cheek. all in all, i'd have to say that i am extrememly grateful that God still is willing to share His grace in my life. i made some bad choices this week, and have a bruised ear lobe to show for it--don't ask. still, my wisdom teeth came out, i'm not all beligerent, angry, crabby, and in pain--the vicodin sems to be helping with the last one--i spent two hours this morning watching spongebob squarepants with my dad and ate extra salty mashed potatoes that my mom made for me while my brother searched the internet for more mozart to download for me. i am never ceased to be impressed by the forgiving nature of my Lord. wow. you'd think that by now i'd feel that i owe Him something and try harder not to revert to a more sinful me...think that i've finally crossed that line though. i certainly hope that I have. there doesn't seem to be any other way to express my thankfulness, love, or awe for God...

that's all for today. i think i'm going to go chill with my new, old friend--and then with my business textbook = )

I am apparently really bad at writing here. hmm. sorry. there really isn't hope of that being fixed any time soon. there are far too many more important things in my life that need to be changed. lately i have been made more and more aware of how vast my problems are....oh well, the best i can do is seek after God and strive to honor Him with everything. i guess that's the best that anyone can do. hopefully it will change me. i don't see how it couldn't.

i'm procrastinating my homework here, so i am going to go.

Now, i have school. funny how my attitude toward wanting a strike over can change from one minute to the next. last night i found out that this morning i have to get up, get ready, and get out (preferably with all my back homework done). let me tell you, i certainly was less than pleased. hmm. funny.

anyway, this week i am looking for more. more than the norm. more than pewny prayers as i fall asleep. more than i know, and more than i have known of God. i need to be a different person. this can't be another "wolf" cry. it has to happen. it has to happen soon.