Well well well. girls do i ever have an amazing story for YOU! tonight i went to the sleeping at last show in roselle with ted, seth, jake, johnny, katie, and--yes--tomato paste. i was very reticent to go and made ted check with every guy who was going and make sure that they were alright with it. The initial surprise was when #1) ted called me back #2) EVERYONE wanted me to go (jake was cheering in the background) so, i went. Still extremely nervous about how things between TP and i would transpire. but guess what...they were awesome! extrenally, everything was the way that it used to be in the big brother era! incredible! yes, i did say externally. there was still so much inherant vulnerability that i felt weird on the insed but i refused to let it affect my actions! we talked about dumb stuff, and i pretneded to punch him in the stomach, to which he grabbed my arm and pretended to break it. I was genuinely happy with the evening. This, if you can imagine, was just the beginning.
Everyone went back to church after the concert and we were standing around the parking lot. ted took out his cigarettes and was like "i'm going to smoke, i can't stand it any more." so i told him that if he was going to smoke, i was too...and he gave me a cigarette after which he asked me if i did indeed smoke. of course i said no, which allowed jeramiah's and seth's faces to relax to mere shock from utter horror. and ted and i proceeded to arguea bout wether or not i was going to smoke the cigarette he just gave me--he didn't want me to waste it. So while we were arguing mike catches ear of what's going on between ted and i and, unbeknownst to me, stands about 3 centimeter away from me, so i turn around and the cigarette in my hand is millimeters away from his face, and he is staring at me with great big big-brither eyes. so i give ted is smoke and mike backs down. (this is the history and motivation for the next sentence.) after sitting around in the parking lot, i decide to go home, and while driving i called mike to #1) keep myself awake because my eyes were very heavy and #2) make sure he knew that i wouldn't actually have smoked the cigarette. WE end up talking for an entire hour! the converstaion centered around mike telling me that he is now ready to move forward in our relationship (meaning he's done being too scared to be friends, or even just siblings). yeah, totally taken aback...i am still smiling from his comment: "i'm back now, i missed you so much." fantastic! so, we talked. about lots of stuff. he asked me about josh and tim and tom (with whom i went to deny's last night--an entirely different story) and we talked about Northwest and graduating, and a lot of everything. out conversation ended with mike restating how happy is he to finally be able to talk with me, and how much he missed me--generally and specifically. Very cool. God is freaking awesome. i think that the greatest part is that i am just genuinely happy about the feasibe prospect of having my big brother back...nothing stupid or girly or sentimental or anything like that. so so so great. and i'm still smiling.
Have a good day girls. it's going to be your turns to post for the next month. we've all heard of hell week, the next four weeks are hell month. please pray for me, and entertain me here on this lovely blogger!!!!! i need to hear about things other than emily bronte and interpersonal communication skills!!! I love you both so very much, thank you for being my sisters (big and little, which ever i need at any given time!) you two are truly a blessing to me, and i wouldn't be where i am today without you both in my life.
posted by Helen Amanda at
11:54 PM
