today, was good. i am not nearly as sick so i wasn't nearly as crabby (even though i didn't go to sleep last night till 4, for NO reason--my phone iddn't ring when TP called) today, i took two naps, read a million and a half pages in my business textbook, stressed outa bout schools ome more, then decided to do something instead of stressing and figured some stuff out that made that anxiety subside, talked to TP three times already (he made time at work, to come out of work-crazy-overlyfocused mode, to call and talk), i wrote my essy for honors society at school, AND watched half of blind date. now i have to go brush my teeth, i'm trying this crest white strips thing. this is my first one. we'll see how it goes = )

This morning i woke up before the sun. WAY before the sun. and couldn't go back to sleep. SUCK MY BUTT! it turns out that I have some sort of virus..which includes a wonderful fever of 101.2--without ceasing. so, i excused myself from classes today, and babysitting today and tomorrow as well...i spent my hours awake today trying to figure out transfer stuff. it made me very frustrated and crabby. it turns out that i have like a 1 in 33,000 chance of getting into Northwestern as a transfer and an even smaller chane of getting financial aid from them (so that i can actually go there, if i get accepted). That hurt my feelings, i'm now trying to talk myself into accepting going to school in BUffalo, NY. yep, that's right. New York--the state--the one that's far far far away from here. Last night, TP told me that he's trying to prepare himself for me moving out there...i wasn't quite sure how to take that. hmm. So, i'm going to stop complaining now--at least i got two applicatiosn sumitted today--it wasn't a total loss. Have a good one.

I am beginning to understand why the biblical picture of a relationship has the man as the head. Tonight i got a phone call from tp (as usual)...basically he said that he thinks we should work on our firendship, without talking about the possibility of a future relationship. does this theme sound familiar? it strangley resembles an email that i sent him after house-sitting charades in which i deliniated what was essential (in my opion) for us to "forget the past" like i was directed to do at camp...my answer about why men are the heads of relationships? God has created thier minds in such a way that they are incapable of taking advice in any tangible, action-altering way. I can tell TP that we need to layoff the boyfriend/girlfriend talk until i am blue in the face, but once he has the "original thought" all converstaion on the topic is instantaneously cut off. Really, all of this is ok, i just wish that his and my thought process schedules were more in synch, so that i would be holding my tongue for a month, trying to think of ways to get the point across. It's really good that God has all fot his in control...so good that i am going to stop extrapalating on this topic and go to bed...asleep before 3? what a concept = )